Let The Mob Decide The Fate Of Fire Manzo!

We started this site with inspiration from a great satirical yet simultaneously critical website by the name of Fire Joe Morgan. We aimed to stick to our guns and dissect, ridicule and lambaste Manzo for every error in judgement, intelligence and overall ineptitude involving his “professional” writing.

Here is what we did not foresee. In the case of Fire Joe Morgan, Ken Tremendous, Dak and the rest were analyzing opinions and writing of which their subjects were most certainly serious about. These writers and announcers were doing a serious job, there was no sarcasm involved, no grey area.While Manzo is supposed to be funny, not serious by trade, he has also started to get basic facts within his humor wrong. The author of our National Anthem, for instance, which seems impossible for someone who can use a computer, let alone one who posesses a college degree.

It seems that while the Fire Manzo movement has grown, Manzo has taken to his standing as the bad guy that everyone hates on and has started feeding us commenters and haters softballs on purpose. He has fed into the machine and is seeing how idiotic and outlandish he can be and still have people actually take him seriously. He has, as El Pres would say, “embraced the role of villian”.

We cannot in good conscience feed this animal that the stoolies have created, we can not help perpetuate the myth of Manzo, professional heel.

UNLESS!

There seem to be two options. The first idea we had was to join the fray, buy into the gig, interview Manzo in all his evilness and play the antagonist. Elevate the game. Unfortunately this request fell on deaf ears.

So our other option is to keep going here all the while trying to decipher what is real and what Manzo is dangling for the mob. We just aren’t sure if we have it in us to try to toe that line. It would be much more fun for it to be one or the other, heel or real, this mishmash shit is kinda tiring more than anything.

Let us know what you think in the comments section you unruly Manzo hating mob, should we let this blog live… or die?

Editor in Chief - Soxfan684

This “best of comments” post is getting to be a ton of work. Holy shit these are just the ones from the last few days, and we’ve been leaving out more than usual. The movement is growing folks.

Remember, these comments are from a 4 day span

by Yer out of your element on June 7, 2011 at 10:04 am
Verbal diarrhea at its finest.

by cesar milan on June 7, 2011 at 10:06 am
you age yourself on a regular basis… least relatable guy on the team

by edreedsbrothercantswim on June 7, 2011 at 11:31 am
Your writing really is as horrible as everyone on Boston makes it out to be. Son of a bitch that was painful..

by jimnasium on June 7, 2011 at 11:23 am
I wish Manzo took a basketball off the dome peice from 219.45 feet.

by BudmanBC20 on June 7, 2011 at 11:35 am
blog grade:  F-

by littleyerryseinfeld on June 7, 2011 at 4:52 pm
die manzo……. just die

by Lionel Frankenstein on June 7, 2011 at 12:58 pm
hey EP if the Yankees get swept can you fire manzo?  seems only fair after yet another terrible blog.

by Soxfan684 on June 7, 2011 at 1:03 pm
I have to go to a wake tonight. It will probably be funnier than your blogs Manzo.

by franbomb on June 7, 2011 at 1:06 pm
manzo just give up already. everyday you try and try but its just getting sad now.

by Y2J on June 7, 2011 at 1:11 pm
I hope Manzo gets Horton’d…too soon?

by dingoatemybaby on June 7, 2011 at 1:19 pm
literally one of the most unfunny blogs ive ever read. i hate your face manzo

by Buckets on June 7, 2011 at 1:52 pm
I really can’t wait for the day when Manzo dies in a fire.

by jimmyt on June 7, 2011 at 8:07 pm
shut the fuck up manzo

by EZBreezey2222 on June 7, 2011 at 4:50 pm
i wish aaron rome put you in a fucking coma manzo……

by chiefslapaho on June 7, 2011 at 5:02 pm
all you ever threw was your cock into fat louie’s ass you fuckin cock smokin faggot

by jsnice35 on June 7, 2011 at 10:30 pm
tough night for manzo.   Keep locking sweeps Manzo, you fucking loser.

by brettfarvesdick on June 7, 2011 at 6:49 pm
fuck. you. manzo. you’re simply the worst.

by saltmonster on June 7, 2011 at 7:11 pm
Seriously, when are they going to get rid of this kid?

by phallus on June 7, 2011 at 11:22 pm
you suck

by davidhasselhoff on June 7, 2011 at 7:50 pm
my name is david hasselhoff and i do not approve this unfunny blog

by Cripes on June 8, 2011 at 11:09 am
Dude, you fucking suck

by meowmix on June 7, 2011 at 11:49 pm
I was going to possibly attempt to write a comment about how inaccurate and dumb this blog (like all your others) was, but it’s just easier to say you’re a cunt

by stello2508 on June 8, 2011 at 12:43 am
are you ignorant or just flat out retarded?

by evo on June 8, 2011 at 12:55 am
“I’m sorry but we’ve been talking about this all week.” ya and you still havent been fired…

by a_canuck on June 8, 2011 at 5:03 am
Yankees suck! Eat a dick manzo

by Wayne Jetski on June 8, 2011 at 1:39 am
Great blog Blandzo

by boosh on June 8, 2011 at 2:31 am
Manzo’s gay

by slainte7 on June 8, 2011 at 7:54 am
Boo-fucking-hoo Manzo, go change your tampon.

by evo on June 8, 2011 at 11:35 am
poor little manzo

by jimnasium on June 8, 2011 at 11:16 am
Manzo you put the um in dumb.

by manzosucks on June 8, 2011 at 11:40 am
i voted 1 for manzo to the trash pile

by botoxedballs on June 8, 2011 at 2:25 pm
you suck. keep tattling on kids you fucking pussy.

by Bruce_Wayne on June 8, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Sweet Story Manzo What a terrible blog, you suck

by kneegrowpleaz on June 8, 2011 at 2:37 pm
wow, great story Hanzel….you suck

by manzosucks on June 8, 2011 at 2:42 pm
nobody cares, you dumb fuck

by bostonBucky on June 8, 2011 at 2:49 pm
youre such a giant fucking douchelord i can’t even stand it.

by domenic512 on June 8, 2011 at 3:02 pm
you’d think the more you post the better you’d get. nope; you still suck, manzo.

by Kip Drordy on June 8, 2011 at 3:10 pm
i try, i really try to read these with an open mind…but fer fuck sakes you are the absolute worst

by Evil One on June 8, 2011 at 3:10 pm
or maybe brought them back to your place to help with your brutal fucking blogs

by bdonosoprano on June 8, 2011 at 3:19 pm
lmao its got to the point where he doesnt get 1 comment that doesnt say he sucks.. just get a different fucking job

by cantgetthestinkout on June 8, 2011 at 7:34 pm
Enough with the Connecticut bullshit. I could care less about your war stories that took place 30 years ago in some one horse town in the godforsaken state that is Connecticut.

by ih8nyy on June 8, 2011 at 4:03 pm
The only thing Manzo did at the Twin Rinks was pump quarters into the “Blades of Steel” game. Pussy.

by Articsnake69 on June 9, 2011 at 1:38 pm
Fuck manzo. You are a real sack of shit.

by BossHogg on June 8, 2011 at 7:42 pm
Oh my God, Manzo, you are a fucking moron.

by 610 on June 8, 2011 at 3:48 pm
Could Manzo pass the citizenship test?

by cabrera loves scotch on June 8, 2011 at 3:48 pm
If you think Mennonites are hippies you are a fucking retard.
Stop blogging, nobody thinks you are funny. Just stop.

by caveman del capitan on June 8, 2011 at 7:49 pm
Manzo you gotta go.

by buckwheat on June 8, 2011 at 4:05 pm
its not too late to sign up for a summer class in creative writing..

by brickma on June 8, 2011 at 5:47 pm
I’d rather watch the shocking meat video than read another Manzo blog. Unfunny and uneducated…hell of a combo

by RedSeaPedestrian on June 8, 2011 at 5:49 pm
How is Manzo still employed? His forced jokes are painful

by ……. on June 8, 2011 at 4:47 pm
boringball sucks and so do you, peter

by yasista on June 8, 2011 at 4:55 pm
“your first funny blog is always the hardest to write”

by White Dude on June 9, 2011 at 10:02 am
Who the fuck cares you pathetic piece of trash where’s your Yankees recap?

by Cripes on June 9, 2011 at 10:27 am
Manzo, you fucking suck. No one cares about your baseball cards you fuckin 40 year old virgin.

by Avon_Barksdale on June 9, 2011 at 11:17 am
a paraplegic with a speak n spell could write funnier blogs than you. It is truly nothing short of a miracle that you still write for this website.

by Kip Drordy on June 9, 2011 at 11:25 am
another donruss refernce again you fucking hack? wasnt even close to funny the last 3 times you used it in a one week span. holy fuck you are the worst

by Evil One on June 9, 2011 at 11:35 am
Well aren’t we the fucking lucky ones, 10 years of reading your lame ass blogs till your retirement porfilio bounces back

by manzosucks on June 9, 2011 at 10:28 am
fuck you manzo, who’s to blame for last night’s pasting? Minka? you’re pathetic

by sweetlu on June 9, 2011 at 10:33 am
Can we get a real Yankee blogger on this site? Manzo is an embarrassment to actual intelligent Yankee fans.

by jimmyquickpitch on June 9, 2011 at 10:41 am
Manzo, you are everything that is wrong with the world.

by TouchMySportsHub on June 9, 2011 at 10:42 am
Is it even worth commenting on a Manzo post at this point?

by midnightm on June 9, 2011 at 10:49 am
die hard yankee fan here and manzo your blogs are just embarassing

by furty on June 9, 2011 at 10:51 am
… you fucking blow, do your job shit head

by unluckyguy on June 9, 2011 at 10:59 am
that is a dumb fucking shirt. kinda like manzos blogs.

by dkriszzle on June 9, 2011 at 11:02 am
i’d rather wear this shirt every day of the week than have manzo represent my city.

by peytonsucksballs on June 9, 2011 at 11:06 am
Manzo,
Your so far past the point of being funny it’s literally pathetic.

by stoolFool on June 9, 2011 at 11:48 am
how the fuck is that ironic? you are so fucking stupid it is maddening.

by pres_jr on June 9, 2011 at 11:55 am
I don’t even know who Smitty is and he outblogged you. Embarassing…

by ConVick on June 9, 2011 at 12:28 pm
smitty is playing chess while your playing checkers manzo

by darklighter on June 9, 2011 at 12:41 pm
Good fuck finding a new job Manzo.

by Cripes on June 9, 2011 at 1:18 pm
You took a blog by a no name guy on the worst city on barstool, raped it, and left it for dead. Then you hit submit.
You’re a turd.

by mattsh20 on June 9, 2011 at 4:51 pm
Horrendous writing.

by Evil One on June 9, 2011 at 1:01 pm
Manzo, Google is your friend, unlike humour and blogging

by jesus juice on June 9, 2011 at 5:10 pm
Manzo is to blogging what aids is to Africa.

by Cripes on June 9, 2011 at 1:21 pm
Another day, another botched suicide attempt.

by bradyfan88 on June 11, 2011 at 9:17 am
manzo should be fired off the stool he is an ass

by Orion’s taint on June 9, 2011 at 1:29 pm
WHAT THE FUCK? Are you fucking serious? You are terrible. I hope you get raped by a silver back gorilla that has AIDS.

by Bruce_Wayne on June 9, 2011 at 1:32 pm
Get a new job because your writing/sense of humor is PRETTY EMBARRASSING BRO

by RajonRonbro on June 9, 2011 at 1:32 pm
every time I start to read a manzo blog I think, well this can’t possibly be worse than his last one. umm yeah about that. you’re a disgrace.

by cmonBro on June 9, 2011 at 1:33 pm
you’re literally too dumb to insult.

by twentytwo on June 9, 2011 at 1:34 pm
holy fuck manzo you kiddin me

by BrostonCollege on June 9, 2011 at 1:34 pm
add “too old to blog” as another reason why you should get fired…sweet references bro, get the fuck out of the 80′s and read up on some pop culture from this millenium, Manzo

by Philthy on June 9, 2011 at 1:35 pm
This might be your worst work yet. You are too fucking old for this job bro.

by Jimmy Super Sac on June 9, 2011 at 1:45 pm
I have to assume that Portnoy owes Stinky Pete Manzo a lot of money.

by firepifff on June 9, 2011 at 5:47 pm
Manzo goddammit. Consider this the last article by you i will ever read. Every time its just a disappointment

by greg harris on June 9, 2011 at 1:48 pm
I just registered with the site only so I could tell you how much I loathe your writing. Minnesota Fats? Minnesota Fuckyourself

by merc5559 on June 9, 2011 at 1:55 pm
worst. blog. ever.

by mysterion on June 9, 2011 at 2:04 pm
legitimately the worst blog ive ever read on the stool no joke

by joedimaggibro on June 9, 2011 at 2:08 pm
this is the shittiest blog i have ever read in my life. #FIREMANZO…seriously manzo you suck

by firstladyisahog on June 9, 2011 at 6:23 pm
Womanzo….death is funnier than you

by help me tom cruise on June 9, 2011 at 2:25 pm
hate to kick a man while hes down but seriously manzo..lock it up this shit is garbage

by bigbeahner on June 9, 2011 at 2:46 pm
How is it you havent washed down a bottle of sleeping pills with some cheap vodka and did the world a favor?

by chowincowan on June 9, 2011 at 2:49 pm
bad

by Buddy Biancalana on June 9, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Seriously?

by brettfarvesdick on June 9, 2011 at 7:27 pm
manzo sucks! manzo sucks! manzo sucks!…pretty sure thats what they were chanting in yankee stadium last night

by thundercat on June 9, 2011 at 7:37 pm
I don’t even know what to say…this isn’t serious, is it?…if so….please die

by gardenstateofmind on June 9, 2011 at 3:43 pm
Good God, Manzo.

by Cleveland Steamer on June 9, 2011 at 7:31 pm
YOU SUCK… you make Jenna look like a friggin genius.

by perksabeast on June 9, 2011 at 4:04 pm
clearly you didnt get it because you’re too old and everything sounds and looks like shit to you

by perksabeast on June 9, 2011 at 4:05 pm
ps. you suck manzo

by michael scarn on June 9, 2011 at 4:16 pm
God, you’re a piece of shit.

by PresismyOprah on June 9, 2011 at 5:28 pm
P.S. Manzo – your too old to be watching South Park.
PPS – your too old to be blogging.

by midgets are funny on June 10, 2011 at 1:54 am
You know who else is old and tired, and everything he says sounds like shit? Manzo

by bruincity35 on June 9, 2011 at 5:06 pm
jesus christ, i’d rather watch who broke the office AC again than read another one of your turd blogs.

by ryanleaf on June 9, 2011 at 6:22 pm
YOU ARE THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO THE INTERNET

by nyrjets on June 9, 2011 at 7:29 pm
Pres must keep you so he can read the comments on your blogs

by dixie6 on June 9, 2011 at 10:11 pm
Vote 10 for Manzo sucks

by army-strong on June 10, 2011 at 8:25 am
I vote 11

by stoolFool on June 9, 2011 at 4:45 pm
i hope you get raped.

by biscodiscuits on June 10, 2011 at 10:34 am
This was a terrible read

by wilforksthighs on June 10, 2011 at 11:15 am
can manzo get fired already

by TheUglyShtick on June 11, 2011 at 12:26 am
I think somebody stole Manzo’s red stapler again….ya squirrely fuck

by KingOfTheBean on June 10, 2011 at 11:44 am
Why don’t you get a horse and live in the mountains and don’t bother anybody?

by keystoned on June 10, 2011 at 11:54 am
Riddle of the day: What has 4 lips and blogs like shit?

by army-strong on June 10, 2011 at 12:07 pm
I wish every Manzo post would have the following in each title: (written by dumbass)

by domenic512 on June 10, 2011 at 12:20 pm
there goes manzo again; writing shitty blogs that aren’t funny and make no sense.

by sf44 on June 10, 2011 at 5:13 pm
YOU FUCKING SUCK

by ScouseSox on June 10, 2011 at 7:27 pm
You literally have the sense of humour of a 9 year old.

by sf44 on June 10, 2011 at 6:15 pm
Manzo you fucking suck. This is a music video. Taking us into the weekend is a funny video. You should suck a dick and die slowly.

Exhausting isn’t it?

"Whaddya listenin' to kid? Is that the crazy saran rap a roni music?"

It is official, the apocalypse is upon us. Horror… Horror has a face… and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared.

Following the headline of Does This Look Like The Face Of A Man Named Florida? comes the end of times:

HollywoodHiccups – Cops arrested rapper, Flo Rida (Tramar Dillard) early this morning when he was driving around in his red and black 2008 Bugatti, swerving in his own lane. Police smelled booze on his breath, gave him the tests…. which he failed being over twice the legal limit with a .185 BAC. While he was performing the tests, a crowd gathered and some were trying to get the cops to let them drive Flo Rida home. Obviously the cops weren’t going to let that happen.

Just Florida being Florida again.  Wait what?  Oh, Flo Rida. Totally different guy.   I just did a quick Google search and it says he’s from Cleveland, which is strange.  Never would’ve guessed that.   I mean how have I never heard of this guy?  Named himself after a state, you’d think he’d be big time by now.   Takes a lot of stones to do something like that.  Think about it. Minnesota Fats, Indiana Jones, Johnny Utah.   Those are some big moccasins to fill.  Meanwhile “Flo Rida” is just some dude whose big claim to fame is getting pulled over for driving around town at twice the legal limit.  Pretty embarrassing bro.  Pretty embarrassing indeed.

We went with the whole post instead of a link this time, simply because we felt this blog needed to be seen in its entirety in order to appreciate the scope of horrificnessiality displayed by this calamity of words. We will now go to our familiar sectioning and dissecting of the genius that is not Manzo:

Just Florida being Florida again.  Wait what?  Oh, Flo Rida. Totally different guy.

78% of readers grandfathers would make that same joke, and 99% of us would roll our eyes and forgive the idiocy of “wicked old people”. Manzo is using retirement home humor, 112% of the time. (by the way the 22% of grandfathers not making the joke are the dead ones and the one percent of us not rolling our eyes is Manzo)

I just did a quick Google search and it says he’s from Cleveland, which is strange.  Never would’ve guessed that.   I mean how have I never heard of this guy?

Tramar Dillard was born in the 187th Street projects of Carol City, Florida. The Cleveland thing was a really awful joke if that’s what it was designed to be. Can’t you seriously picture a grandfather saying something like that…

“Flo Rida!? What’s he… from CLEVELAND!?!?? WHOAH!!!! I’m 87!!”.

We are pretty sure that everything Manzo thinks he knows was learned via a “quick Google search”. Maybe since this is his job though it would be a good idea to go ahead and start going with the “medium length Google search”?

Manzo, you are not alone, everyone reading this is also wondering how you write a pop culture blog for a living and have never heard of an artist who has reached #1, has been nominated for every major music award known to man and is named gawd damnd Flo Rida.

Named himself after a state, you’d think he’d be big time by now.   Takes a lot of stones to do something like that.  Think about it. Minnesota Fats, Indiana Jones, Johnny Utah.   Those are some big moccasins to fill.  Meanwhile “Flo Rida” is just some dude whose big claim to fame is getting pulled over for driving around town at twice the legal limit.

Holy schnikeys Manzo, from now on during your “quick google searches” at least check out your subjects Wikipedia page. In Flo Ridas case it will show you that you are about to print a bunch of nonsense.

Flo Rida has many more claims to fame than the story you just randomly found while “researching”.

By the way if this was sarcasm, it was the least funny sarcasm to ever hit the internet. There’s sarcasm and then there is just lying for no reason.

Pretty embarrassing bro.  Pretty embarrassing indeed.

We agree, Manzo is embar… wait, what? Oh totally different guy.

We can tell you one thing, we here at firemanzo.com are done with trying to make any excuse for this stuff. Could care less if he’s going for sarcasm, irony, double entendre, alliteration, hyperbole, shit even if he’s attempting onomatomuthafuckinpoeia… shit sucks.

The horror… the horror… the horror…

Even though Fire Manzo is on the road, we checked in today from our hotel room and we saw a post that is so horrific, so badly written so… so… wrong, that we could not leave the room without dissecting it. We have set this blog to publish at 11p.m. around the time of the end of the Bruins game so as not to disturb anyone.

Those are hippies alright, check out the beards and dreadlocks and shit!

Daily News — A small pacifist college in Indiana has stopped playing the national anthem at sporting events because the song’s military-themed lyrics run afoul of its beliefs. Officials at Goshen College – which is affiliated with the Mennonite Church – say they will find an alternative song to honor the country while keeping in line with their philosophy.

We’ll break down the Manzo part in sections, go here for the entire travesty.

Hey hippie dudes, yeah you, the ones with your fat guts ironically painted in red, white and blue.

Ummm… none of those guys look much like hippies to us, (and we were at a Phish show last night, we’ve seen plenty of those dirty bastards) but let’s not harp on the fact that Manzo apparently doesn’t know the difference between a hippie and a pacifist (most mouth breathers don’t) because there is something much more egregious in that sentence.

Not since Alanis Morissette have we seen someone so drastically miss the mark on the definition of irony. Manzo those “hippies” are trying to convey that you can be a pacifist and patriotic. If you actually clicked the link to the story you posted you would have seen this;

The school’s director of public relations, Richard Aguirre, says it is not a matter of a lack of patriotism.

So they painted their chest to show their patriotism and that is in no way ironic… kinda like rain on your wedding day.

It can’t get worse right?

”The rockets” and “the bombs bursting in air”, that was what Francis Scott Fitzgerald saw when he wrote the fucking Banner. It’s not promoting war you ignorant pricks. Pay attention in class. And even if it was promoting war, which it clearly wasn’t, there’s only 1 National Anthem. There’s no “alternative”.

No, no, no that did not just happen. Francis Scott Fitzgerald? A person who gets paid to write, in a piece about the National Anthem, just got the author wrong? Is this the fucking twilight zone? Then he calls them ignorant pricks and they should pay attention in class?

Now there is a strong possibility here that Manzo was going for a joke by getting Francis Scott Key wrong on purpose, but even if that is the case it is just sloppy and awful to use a joke that trivializes the National Anthem in a post bashing people who don’t show the National Anthem proper respect.

Ironic even.

It’s not like GNR when they came out with “Don’t Cry” on Use Your Illusion I and then “Don’t Cry Alternate Lyrics” on Use Your Illusion II. Completely different. The first one was for Terminator 2, the second was just because they needed to fill a spot on the album. Frankly I like the alternate lyrics version better. But the point is there’s no alternate version to the National Anthem. That’s like saying you want to fly an “alternative flag” at the top of the flag pole. You can’t. There’s 1 fucking flag, there’s 1 fucking anthem and there’s 2 versions of Don’t Cry. Hey I’m not going to argue “America The Beautiful” isn’t a great song, but it’s not the Anthem and it never will be the Anthem.

As for the Guns and Roses babble, “You Could Be Mine” was the Terminator song. It took us literally 8 seconds to research and confirm that. Is there any reason on earth that someone who writes like 5 blogs a day as his job couldn’t put in an equal effort in order to be right every once in a while? It should be a law that if a writer is going to bring up a completely random analogy, the responsibility is on said writer to at least be correct.

When he states that there is no alternative to the National Anthem, once again Manzo is the king of contradiction, just when he is done ranting about there being no other option, he names one. He is right about one thing though, America The Beautiful is not the National Anthem, but it is… wait for it… an alternative.

So pacifist hippie dudes, why don’t you just tie yourself to a tree and stay there for the rest of the summer. I heard it’s nice and cool in East Bumfuck, Indiana this time of year.

Well would you look at that, not happy with his previous amount of ineptitude Manzo now feels the need to throw in that he also does not know the difference between a pacifist and an environmentalist as well, environmentalists tie themselves to trees cockbreath, not pacifists. Bravo sir, a trifecta.

So let’s re-cap this blog shall we? In 248 words Manzo was able to cram in all of the following travesties:

1. Displays a lack of knowledge of the meaning of the word “pacifism”

2. Improper use of the word “hippie”

3. Confuses “environmentalist” with “pacifism”

4. Displays zero understanding of, and misuses the term “irony”

5. Gets the author of our National Anthem wrong in a post about the National Anthem

6. Randomly inserts Guns and Roses analogy and is incorrect about the very song he pulled from thin air

7. Contradicts himself about the existence of an alternative to The National Anthem

8. Gets the author of our National Anthem wrong in a post about the National Anthem (We don’t give a fuck we’re counting that one twice)

It is possible that in the history of everything, no person has ever managed to be so wrong about so many things in such a small amount of writing. He has to be sucking on purpose right? There can be no other explanation, well besides Downs Syndrome right? Maybe Manzo has a touch of the Downs?

There will be no posts for a while sorry. Gotta go back out there and get polluted. I’ll be the guy in Mansfield (then Darien, then Camden, then?…) yelling “Fire Manzo!” and stepping on hippies faces.

Editor in Chief - cesar milan

Some good ones have been building up so here we go again, some of our favorite Manzo bashing from the stoolies:

by EZBreezey2222 on June 6, 2011 at 2:50 pm
only a week after BSSphilly had this same clip. keep up the shitty work you fucking waste of life…..

by cesar milan on June 6, 2011 at 2:55 pm
i would think shitting my pants would be far more interesting than reading what you just wrote

by Abbott’sRightHandMan on June 6, 2011 at 4:24 pm
Mo posted this last week…Manzo you are the worst.

by hartyhartz on June 6, 2011 at 3:51 pm
Really Manzo.  Do you just wake up and check out Egotastic everyday?  Not even original…nice.

by salo on June 6, 2011 at 4:03 pm
Manzo you are so AIDS. You are the one that gave it to the Monkeys

by bronamath on June 6, 2011 at 4:21 pm
a crack baby would be better at this gig than Manzo.

by jimnasium on June 6, 2011 at 4:26 pm
Manzo’s blogs are like the movie “Groundhog Day” Constant repetition.

by Avon_Barksdale on June 6, 2011 at 4:41 pm
fall on a chainsaw you terribly unfunny yankee fan

by saltmonster on June 6, 2011 at 1:21 pm
Manzo, kill yourself.

by Abbott’sRightHandMan on June 5, 2011 at 10:50 pm
Manzo fails yet again…

by chris618b on June 5, 2011 at 1:57 pm
Sunday is a day of rest, and Manzo just proved it. 0 effort

by jimnasium on June 5, 2011 at 5:32 pm
It ends like a Manzo blog, shitty.

by favrescellphone on June 3, 2011 at 6:10 pm
manzo your fucking gay. kill yourself.

by stonie4 on June 3, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Manzo, why do you suck so much?

by theplace on June 3, 2011 at 5:55 pm
go kill yourself manzo

by buckwheat on June 3, 2011 at 2:43 pm
definitely needs to enroll in a creative writing class

by bettertobest on June 3, 2011 at 2:54 pm
From now on, please refer to yourself as womanzo.  Not kidding, literally sign off as womanzo, should Pres keep you around.  I bet you squat when you pee.

by Sir-Smoke-Alot on June 3, 2011 at 12:23 pm
Correction:  “I’d tell her how much I suck at blogging”

by twentytwo on June 3, 2011 at 11:34 am
i’ve laid off you for a while manzo but YIKES

by cesar milan on June 3, 2011 at 3:51 pm
i think reading you is making me dumber and now i find you funnier.. fuck

by JC2 on June 3, 2011 at 12:47 am
go kill yourself manzo

by Drago on June 3, 2011 at 12:13 pm
Manzo i don’t know what job you ‘quit’ to come here, but that decision is making LeBron’s look like the Louisiana Purchase.

by Sir-Smoke-Alot on June 2, 2011 at 3:01 pm
Can’t wait to read the headline “Manzo Fired!”

by keystoned on June 2, 2011 at 3:14 pm
Every time Manzo touches a keyboard, a kid with cancer takes his last breath.

by wildmanpete on June 2, 2011 at 5:18 pm
How much happier would Manzo be if it had been Blake Lively getting injured and Dice-K posting nudes?

by malaka on June 2, 2011 at 5:20 pm
manzo, where did you learn how to write? have to be the worst writer in the history of the internet.

by DooBAH on June 2, 2011 at 1:20 pm
Dice-K signing was almost as bad as the Manzo signing.
I said almost.

by edreedsbrothercantswim on June 2, 2011 at 12:48 pm
manzo is a faggot

by bronamath on June 2, 2011 at 12:33 pm
another day, another awful blog by Manzo

by ScouseSox on June 1, 2011 at 5:43 pm
You would hear crickets, but they were too fucking embarassed by this pathetic excuse for a blog.

by cesar milan on June 2, 2011 at 8:37 am
i will make you eat a plate of human shit

by Soxfan684 on June 1, 2011 at 4:41 pm
The cancer ward at Children’s Hospital is funnier than you are Manzo.

by stall on June 1, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Only manzo could ruin a shakira video

by nutzach on June 1, 2011 at 11:03 am
I hate you Manzo. This could not be less funny if you tried.

by Evil One on June 1, 2011 at 11:24 am
And Manzo chips in with his own 47 minute mile

by Jack Mehoff on June 1, 2011 at 12:00 pm
Manzo is the Kwame Brown of bloggers

by keystoned on June 1, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Manzo blogs should come with a garden hose, so I can stick one end in my exhaust pipe and the other one in the window.

by cantgetthestinkout on June 1, 2011 at 2:26 pm
Manzo you’re more of an embarrassment to Italians than all of the Jersey Shore cast members combined.

by bigbangclock on June 1, 2011 at 4:09 pm
Shut up Manzo

by kelso8 on June 1, 2011 at 2:03 pm
You are the worst fucking human ever

by Heated76 on June 1, 2011 at 2:36 pm
Manzo,
I would like to teach your father a life lesson about pulling out.

Especially if you're gonna read Manzo

Since we recently went into a hole and got shit-housed for a few days we decided to go back and review the magic that has been pouring from the pen of Manzo in our absence. Lo and behold what did we come across? Something that actually made us laugh out loud. From a Guess That Ass…

And the answer is Swiss model, Michelle Hunziker. I know nothing about her than she’s a Swiss model with a hot ass and a tattoo on her arm. Basically we have tons in common. Probably really hit it off. No awkward pauses, no name dropping, no nothing. She would tell me about her modelling career, I’d tell her about blogging. Just pure bliss all night, until the sun rises in the west.

Holy donkeycock Peteface that was actually a well crafted and funny blog… until the sun rises in the west… good line. This was sarcastic, self deprecating, just plain… funny.

Here is the thing, sarcasm is simply the hardest type of humor to properly convey with the written word. It is difficult in person sometimes even. Without facial expressions and mannerisms there has to be a much wider gap between said sarcasm and the truth. Sometimes a visual such as a simple smirk and head nod will make someone aware of sarcasm, both of which are quite simply impossible with prose.

This is an interesting development in the Manzo watch. Not unlike the day he actually didn’t suck, this may be scientific evidence that Manzo is actually a funny guy. He is definitely a shitty writer, but what does it mean if he is a funny guy but just a shitty writer?

This could actually make sense, maybe Manzo is really hilarious in person? Maybe his humor is just drastic sarcasm that gets lost in composition? Take the prior example for instance… It is sarcasm that is actually finally discernible by a reader, and it is fucking funny.

P.S. He still sucks 99.768% of the time.

We go on a simple drinking bender and look what we miss. We were hoping people would get these and wear them in viva la stool photo ops, looks like Pres beat everyone to the punch. By the way we don’t make any money on them, that’s why they are only $12, we just want to spread the word. They ship direct from Spreadshirt, you’ll get ‘em in like 3 days. Just click on the pic.

Also, like us on facebook because in the grand stool tradition we are going to give out free hats, except we will actually give out free hats. Once a week, we’ll pick a random person from our facebook list and send them a shirt or a hat, whichever they want. Join the movement.

Intermission is Ovah!

Fire Manzo was on a little vacation/bender for a few days and wasn’t able to post, but rest assured we haven’t given up on the quest.

There’s been quite a bit of heavy duty Manzo suckage happening in our absence so we will just throw a couple quick ones out to get the proverbial feet wet again.

First off we have another Jose Canseco blog. Click the link if you want the entire thing but for streamlining purposes, let’s get right into it:

Hey everybody, to the Lake House!   Not to say I told you, but I told you so.  Canseco is absolutely fucked.

Wow, you were right Manzo. Everyone doubted you when you went against the grain and said Canseco might have problems. While most highly respected social commenters were convinced that Jose was a model of mental fitness and a well adjusted and grounded man, you were alone on an island saying he may not be all there. Bravo, it was you and only you who properly assessed Jose as a nutjob.

This falls into the Chris Rock category of taking credit for shit you’re supposed to do, like taking care of your kids. Manzo, you’re supposed to know Canseco is fucked, that doesn’t make you special.

And now Manzo brings this shit up again. Unreal, why are we still hearing about this?

Gotta remember, I had his ’86 Donruss Rated rookie.  Fucking thought I was going to retire off that thing.   Who didn’t?

Why do we have to remember this useless piece of info? I had just forgotten that you told us that shit for no reason a few days ago. I had re assigned those brain cells to something useful and here you just pop that crap back into my head and waste more of my valuable (and admittedly rapidly vanishing) cranial capacity?

Fuck that Manzo, please stop talking about your Canseco rookie card, they were not rare. Once again this does not make you special. (It does however make you ancient)

P.S. We really, really wanted to like firethefiremanzoguy.blogspot.com but it’s just not very good, so that’s all we have to say about that.

Another gem of a late night post for Manzo last night. While Pres was posting naked pics of Blake Lively Manzo decided to post up an absolute jaw dropper himself. Here is the pic Manzo put up with his headline:

Now AC Slater is a Heat Fan?

That seriously looks less like AC Slater than Manzo does…

"Keep it up Manzo and even Slater is gonna hate"

Oh and the most important part of all this… Who would give a flying fuck if Slater is a Miami Heat fan? Shitballs Johnson the dudes real name is Mario Lopez, my first pick if I were ever forced to speculate on the subject of his basketball fancy would be the Miami god damn Heat. The key element to the look alike game is some presence of irony, there is zero irony in this, Slater should be a Heat fan. Namean cuz?

Is Manzo shooting for an Andy Kaufman type thing by going so far out of the comedic box that he thinks he might become funny? Is that it? Is it? Someone please tell me what the hell is going on here before I deepthroat my tailpipe, because I refuse to live in a world that allows Manzo to be a professional humorist.